Crock pot prayer

I’m here again… you would think by now I would be in control of these emotions. There is just something so… so cold about a Dr’s exam table.
The anxiety didn’t begin when I climbed up on the table though, it is actually its calmest now. Here I can make jokes with the nurses about being able to guess my pulse or some other smooth transition that keeps everyone in the room at ease( strangely enough Dr’s offices are my jam… hey! Everyone shines somewhere). Luckily today my M.A. handed me the blood work I’ve waited 6 agonizing days to lay my eyes on. I have a task; my mind is consumed. The anxiety began 16 days ago when I had to see a new Dr for the first time. I knew it as evidence (I am a special ed teacher… I like data and evidence… easy record-able.. NO mystery) that day by my blood pressure being 140/80.. I am typically a solid 102 over 55 girl. The fact that I know that by heart at 24 should tell you a lot about me. Or maybe the anxiety started September 15th when I booked the appointment for over a month out. Any way you slice it there was anxiety. When I received the phone call yesterday that I needed to go into the Dr today for the blood work done Thursday I automatically went into ( I think I made this up, but) crock pot mode. I have to throw everything into it, but the heat makes it beautiful. I did everything required of me. I lined up a sub. I made sub plans. I called my parents and best friend. I stayed calm. I did not google or webMD a single thing. I did not get onto the labcorp website and refresh my blood work 17 times, or even once. I went and supported a friend in need and I heated up dinner. When my Dad called and asked if I was anxious I answered what I thought was wholly the truth “nah, just another Dr, at worst its disease number 3 😉 “I didn’t realize I was anxious until I went to bed and had a dream that my Dr yelled at me, said I could only eat oatmeal, and told me I needed to tell my principals that I had to take a leave of absence until thanksgiving was over. (Praise God none of that happened!!!! Then we could really talk about anxiety)
Back to being a crock pot though (just what every woman wants to hear) If you read the above, I hope you did otherwise its really random you landed on this paragraph, then nothing really seems wrong with it. I think it is pretty normal emotions for a person who goes to the Dr relatively often and doesn’t get good news from them. If you know me at all though, I hope you see something majorly wrong with it. You see, I picked anxiety. I picked to not trust that there is a greater plan for me. I picked to complete task and keep my mind busy and let the heat make me self-dependent.
Until, I have this amazing sister-in-law, she sent me a picture that said “who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:27”followed by “no matter what they say at 10:00 we are not going to worry.” What perspective. What insight that I so desperately needed. That I don’t have to carry it all or make jokes to make it through tough ‘worrisome’ times.

I say all this to say, I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know if you are sick, if your child is sick, if your spouse is sick, or if you’ve never known anyone who was sick. I don’t know if God feels like He is right beside you providing the desires of your heart or if that statement just made you angry because you can’t remember a God who provides. I don’t know If I know you at all. Today as I walked out of the Dr, from an appointment, that went a lot better than it could have, there was a feather on the ground. Instantly my mind went to Psalm 91. “ I will say to the Lord, “ My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust…. He will cover you with his pinions (feather), and under his wings you will find refuge. “(91:2 &4)
So I pray you seek His refuge. If there is anything that I’ve learned over this 5 year journey, but more specifically this 10 month battle it is…
God is faith to provide refuge.
Even when it doesn’t seem like that’s what it is to my mere mortal selfish brain. So keep trucking, keep seeking, allow people to take care of you, and when you are throwing ingredients into the crockpot that is your life… throw in prayer!

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Snow…isnt it amazing? Even though it can be a hassle, cause major damage, and is cold I can’t help but think how amazing it is. Each and every snow flake that falls is different, we learn growing up that every single one is its own. No two created alike. I think this is why I, like many others, are so mesmerized by snow. I can honestly watch it for hours never less impressed by each falling flake that flutters to the ground. A tiny miracle that fades quickly away.

In  Genesis we learn about God creating a world full of miracles, I think the greatest of all of these miracles are people, which he created in Genesis 2. If you read Psalms 139 you will see how God knows all about us, since he created us and formed us in the womb.

Each individual person being created is in the image of God. Each one a miracle. When you view yourself in the light of a miracle does it change how you think about you as an individual?
Maybe it would help if you thought about individual.. some other words that may help with that are: Independent, Characteristic, Special, Personalized, Unique, Unmatched, Patented.
You see God created Me and You, different. We have different thoughts and different opinions, but he still created both of us in His image. Each one, Miracles.

This makes my mind think about babies being born, how millions of things, can go wrong, and yet we are all here, proving that for the most part it goes perfect. This is simply amazing to me. Tiny Miracles.

Throughout the New Testament, Jesus tells the people that they must become like children to be His people. They must revert back to having hearts that are loving and see the good, like children are accustomed. They must be miracles.

I say all this to say we are all miracles, just like snowflakes, no two are alike. What we choose to do with our Miracles whether they be our children, our best friends, or even a stranger on the street is our choice. How we carry ourselves and influence those around us is how we use the talent God has given us. In Matthew 12:36 it says “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” Each word that we speak to lift others up or tear them down is heard by The Maker of the miracle you are either building up, or tearing down, and for each careless one spoken, Christian or Non-Christian, there will be a consequence.

So with it being the beginning of a new year, or just because it times to change I urge you to build others up. I beg you to influence the people you come in contact with everyday for the better. To remember that each human is a miracle created by the same Almighty hands that formed You, and to love them, because God is love.

Dear God, I come before you thankful for differences. Thankful that you created each and every person. I pray that we your people remember this, remember that even people who are lost are still yours. Dear God I pray that we raise your miracles to give you the glory.That we put aside petty differences and come together to make Your Kingdom the most important. I pray that You create us bucket fillers and You allow us to pour into other people daily, because when we pour into others we are filled by you. I also pray that we remember that bucket spillers are the ones who are in the most need of filling, and that You remind us to not turn a cold shoulder to them. Dear God I pray that Your people let their hearts be softened and Love. Love in a way that changes the World. Love in a way that doesnt take its eyes off You. As always dear God please hurry because better than living on this earth will be living in Your Kingdom, please dont be hasty.
In Jesus name, Amen

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Calling all Princesses

Have you noticed lately a trend in calling young girls “princesses”? This is something that I have noticed more and more lately… princess.. What kind of princess are we talking here?

See my fear is that we are bringing up a generation of girls who view themselves as princesses like the ones that are on tv.

** Side note** I am all about teaching girls worth. I think it is one of the most important things we can do to transform American Church and home. Ok! Back to the point.

Like I said I am afraid we are instilling in our young girls that they need to be a worldly princess. A girl who is taken care of by a man of amazing looks and inconceivable talents. I think that by creating a generation of princesses who feel like they are entitled to be  damsels in distress all of there days, just to have a guy save them, we are going to create a universe to wrap around themselves. My fear is that this will lead to mean meaner girls. “DIVAS” if you will. You see when we give these girls entitlement through a title, then we do them a disservice. By making them feel like Prince Charming is waiting just around the corner, we build up hopes that are unattainable.

Let me tell you about a queen I want us to mold our young girls after… Esther. If you have time take a minute and read the book of Esther. The entire book is great (One of my favorites actually), but I want to focus in on the end of 4 through 8.
Esther, I think one of the things I like most about her is she could have played the damsel in distress. She could have turned her head away from her people and kept everything a secret. I think I would have played either of these two cards so that I didnt chance my role as queen or my life but not Esther.

First of all she Listened… Esther listened to Mordecia. When Mordecia advised or acted Esther paid attention and thought about what to do. I think we should not only teach young girls to listen, but also to reason through thoughts and know why things are important.

Next she Fasted. Once Esther knew that it was her time to act she fasted and called all her people to fast so that she knew what to do for the Lord. I dont know about you, but fasting for three days is not where it is at for me, but Esther did it to know God’s exact will for her life.

And Finally she Acted. Once Esther knew what to do she DID it… yes you heard that correctly SHE DID IT!!! In my life it is easy for me to pray about things and then sit back and wait because I am uncertain. Esther risk her life because She knew what had to be done even if it wasnt what she wanted to have to do.

With all that being said I urge us as a church to not create worldly Divas, but create Heavenly Queens. I want to bring up a generation of girls who are beautiful inside and out because they have the love of the Father all throughout them.

Dear God I come before you tonight not having it all figured out. So many days I struggle with everyone of the fears that are apparent to the modern day princess. I get so busy writing my own plan and taking my own steps to act it out I forget to use the guide you gave me in the bible. Dear Lord I pray a special prayer tonight for all women. That you instill in us the worth that you created us with. Dear God I pray for women who are not striving, but who bask in your glory. Dear God I thank you that you created us Men and Women and that it is ok that we are different. Please change the heart of our culture to understand that. I love you so much Dear God, please please come soon. In Jesus name Amen.

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I’d rather stay in the big fish

Sometimes I just feel tired. Not from lack of rest (although that is a factor I’m sure) or from my daily activities, but solely because this world is not My home.

Do you ever feel like this?

Tonight I read through the book of Jonah and although I don’t posses every feeling shown in that book, in someways I can relate to Jonah.

You see I have a confession, something I have in common with Jonah is I don’t want to go to my “Nineveh.”

In my defense it is not because I hate a certain group of people, or do not hope that God’s grace falls on many more people then I would ever even be able to reach, but to my own fall, it doesn’t make it any less wrong than Jonah’s reaction.

I can relate more to the hiding Jonah. The guy who was asleep on the ship while everyone else is panicking. I, like Jonah, believe in an almighty God. A God that created land and sea and can at any given moment make them all bend in the exact way He wants. My problem is that most of the time I do not want to leave the bowels ship. I get so homesick for Heaven and am so ready to go now that I forget to try and bring people with me. At times I even find myself pleading with God to just come now, this isn’t a I don’t want to take a test request, it is a I have NOTHING else I want to do on earth come save me Jesus yearn! During these times God has to gently remind me that I have a job here and that He loves me. He loves my request, but He has an almighty, omnipotent, plan that, as much as I like to think I do, I DO NOT have figured out.

What a faithful God he is!!!!!

Dear God,

I come before you YEARNING to be with you. Please generate a heart in me that desires to do Your work on earth. Dear Lord we live in a fallen world that needs You, please allow Your people to step up and do Your work. Although we have to do our part to live here, do not let us lose sight of the fact that this is not the place we were ever intended to be. Your love has no limits God and I pray that as Your people we learn to not only accept it, but live in it. I come before you God and thank you for the people on earth you have allowed us to have a common hope with. People we can dream with about our future home, who comfort us when things go wrong, and who spur us on when this life is hard. I thank you most of all for Your Son and that through him coming back to life I get eternal life. Please stay close to Your people God and come quickly.
In Jesus name,

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“Fear not”

Do you have a favorite bible verse? Growing up I never did… I could never just pin point one that I thought was worthy of being my “favorite”. As I have gotten older I would say I still have a hard time pinning down one verse and sticking to it, but I for sure have verses that stand out to me. Currently I think the main on of these is in Luke.

A few chapters earlier Jesus has told his disciples again that he is going to die, after he has just preformed miraculous signs. They went from such a huge high to an extreme low, all in three short chapters.(ch 9.-12… go read it) then Jesus starts telling them how to be prepared and not to worry… this is where my current favorite verse comes into play.

Luke 12:32 says: “Fear not, Little flock, it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
Go ahead and read that again.

First of all wow! I remember the first time I read and processed that I was speechless (for those of you who know me, you know what a big deal this is) with a smile on my face.

What does that mean to you? What part stands out to you? “fear not”… “kingdom?” Mine is “Little flock”

Little flock.. there is something SO comforting to me in that statement; those two words. From these words I take away three major points.
The first is I serve a big and mighty God, who has a kingdom. A God that has every single thing all taken care of under his amazingly omnipotent power.
Number two I am little. This automatically makes my mind think of little kids, they do not worry. Why do they not worry you may ask, because they are being taken care of by someone big. The times I think I worry the most is when I feel big, when I feel like everything is my job. When  Iam handling everything. This verse reminds me to take heart, because I am little. and I am taken care of by the biggest God.

Lastly, Flock. this reminds me I am not alone, God has given me friends. Amazing Christian friends who will get to go to the kingdom with me and my big God one day… and what a wonderful day that will be!


Dear God,

      I humbly come before your big throne. I am so thankful that you give us the honor of worshiping you dear Lord. My heart overflows that I get to be in Your flock. I pray that we as a Christian people cling to Your word, and that we use each other as a comfort. I am so thankful that Your word is so powerful, and that Your promises are real. I never have to worry about my plans because I know You hold them in Your hand. I pray for every person who reads this dear God, and that their life is blessed by you. Thank you for allowing me to be your servant God. Amen

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A Puzzle Piece

Do you ever feel alone? I am not talking depressed, sad, out of touch. I am talking like the feeling you get when you’re around people and you think “geez, none of these people are anything like me!” Maybe you don’t, but I do ALL the time. I find myself thinking “If I could ever just find one person who completely and totally gets me, who understands my intentions, I think the world would finally make sense.”  

You see I find comfort in being “normal”. I know that there are some out there who do not, they embrace their differences and love every second of it. To these people I am jealous. I think I spend most of my day finding the nearest cookie cutter and trying to make myself fit in this perfect mold.

Then I read Psalms 139:13-16

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”


You see this is what I find comfort in. The fact that even though I worry about being different God’s word tells me I was made to be. He formed me in ways that he formed no one else. Wait did you catch that? He formed ME in ways that he formed NO ONE else. An Individual. A person that’s specific talents are needed. God gave me the talents He did, because wanted me to use them in his kingdom, just like he gave you yours to work in His kingdom.

Romans 8:28 says “and we know that for those who love God all things work together for  good.”

 I think that God calls us to work together for good, to make my strengths help your weaknesses, and to allow my weakness to be covered by your strengths, for Him. He is such a wise and detailed planner who knew exactly what he was giving us; I hope that you decide to let his plan work.




Dear God,

                I come before you humbled. I pray that this is the start to many opportunities you allow me to do for you. I pray that for every person who reads this their perception of themselves is changed. That you give them eyes that see their strengths, and doors that allow opportunities to use them. How awesome it is to be formed by you God; that I never have to be ashamed of a feeling or an emotion to you, because you created it.  I pray a hand of protection over all who are trying to teach others about you. I pray that the words they use are falling on open and willing hearts. I thank you God for the abilities you have given every single person, no matter how great or small. Most of all God I am thankful for your son, that he went to the cross for every single persons sin, but more thankful that he got off and then rose on the third day. Allow me to everyday go out and serve you. Amen

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